Welp. This page gave me nothing but trouble for the past two weeks, and I can't honestly say that I'm satisfied with the result in the slightest. Oh well, live and learn. :I
I love that almost annoyed look in the first panel. By the last one, he's like, "okay, now you're just obnoxious."
Also, thank you for just putting it up. We understand if a page isn't working. And I think it's good. 'Course, I'm a writer, not an artist so, I wouldn't know. :D
Its basically like a sound effect. "Guh" in panel three is from the wind getting knocked out of him while the pain of being slammed onto the hard ground. "Tch" in panel four is more of a disappointing angry sound, can be used differently however. "Ghk" in panel 6 could be taken as when the blade sunk into him he made a cry of pain but it came out as that or it was just from the blood in his throat. That is however just my opinion on it and it could be different ^-^
Great story you're telling, Kristy. Very much enjoying your work.
Hopefully I am just missing a detail that would explain this, but in the third panel, shouldn't there be at least the pointed end of Madoc's sword showing below and behind his adversaries leg?
While I'm not Kristy, I think you're just missing it. The blade isn't all that long, I gathered, not to mention it's hiding behind both Madoc's legs, AND the helmed dude's. So you might not see it. If you did, it would probably be the very /point/ of it.
Behind his own leg, too? Considering where the blade is positioned in panel two, Madoc would Have to swing the blade back and behind his leg on purpose which would put his sword out of action until he moves it Back from behind. Zero reason for him to do that. He's better than that. Also, just view the blade length in any of the other panels and compare it's length to anything in that panel. It's a short sword, I grant you, but it ain't That short.
It doesn't matter if this gets resolved or not, Onasaki, Kristy, you're still telling a fine story.
Thank you.
Mm, you're absolutely right. I had it in the sketch, but it somehow got lost in the inking process. They should be behind the guy's legs, but the foreshortening isn't quiiiiite enough to hide it completely. I will fix! Thanks again!
in panel 5, it is very close to what happend in my comic! Amago with the sword, knite laying on the ground begging for mercy... but knite lived, i wish i can say that for the soldier guy!
As far as the page goes, the fact that you aren't satisfied is good, as you know you can still improve. However, it was a top notch page, so congratulate yourself regardless.
10th Aug 2012, 3:07 AM