Madoc's Mexican Adventure
by MatthewJA of Good Sir, I Cannot Draw

(Disclaimer: Can I just let it be known that if I were going to make a real fanfiction it would actually be good and not this weird at all)

The man ran through the forest, not entirely sure who was pursuing him, but entirely sure that if he stopped, he'd be killed - or worse.
What he didn't realise was that his pursuer was fast and agile enough that he didn't even need to stop.
The assassin leapt through the air, tackling and stabbing his prey in a single swift move.
"Nunca más se corrompen a los niños inocentes, cerdo fascista!" shouted the killer.
"Actualmente estoy en el dolor!" screamed the dying man.
Madoc stood up, donned his sombrero, and strolled away.
He was hungry.

Meanwhile, Locke's airplane had just arrived at Mexico International Airport. He hailed a taxi, and asked the driver to take him to the nearest hotel.
He was in Mexico for three days while he waited for his next flight, which would take him to the northern United States, where he would meet a friend. Locke figured he'd spend a little time in Mexico, seeing as he had to pass through it.
"You dress pretty obvious there." said the driver, in broken but otherwise fairly good English. "It might be better to change clothes."
"I can't really," said Locke. "I only have the one pair of clothes. I'm getting a costume change when I arrive on Thursday."
"It is okay! I always bring a spare pair of clothes!" The cab pulled over to the side of the road.
The driver passed back the clothes. "Put these on."
Locke glanced at the tags. "How did you know my size?"
But the driver simply tapped his nose, and told Locke to hurry up.

Madoc watched the taxi go past as he munched into a McTaco. It was bacony.
"Plenty of time." he muttered. "I don't need to chase him yet."
He glanced around. The tables were totally and completely full. In fact, the only seat available was the one directly opposite him. Not for long.
Suddenly, a woman with several bags of cheap merchandise bustled past, and sat down with her meal.
"I hope you don't mind me taking this seat... There's not a single place in the restaurant."
She glanced up. "W- YOU!" she shouted.
"Rebecca, right?" said Madoc. "I believe I remember you."
"...Did you end up... killing that guy?"
Madoc pulled out a piece of parchment. He glanced down it.
"Thatguy comes later on my list."
"...I meant the blonde guy."
"Oh, him? Working on it."

Locke got out of the taxi, slightly afraid and disturbed, but safe and in some new clothes.
"I like these new clothes." said Locke. "They make me feel nice."
He quickly walked to his hotel. If he hurried, he would make it in time for happy hour.
He sat down at the bar, and ordered a drink. He didn't really care what.
Slowly, he sipped his drink. A short person in a sombrero sat down next to him, and ordered the same.
"Hola, extraño." said the person.
"Hello." said Locke, having no idea at all what they were saying.
Then they looked up at Locke. He had seen that face before.
Oralee discarded the sombrero and downed her drink.
"Yeah, it's me, Locke. Fancy seeing you here."
Locke put his glass down, and stood up, preparing to leave.
"Well, look at the time, I should be going..." he started.
"You're not gonna leave me again, are you?" she said, standing up threateningly.
"I told you, Oralee, that wasn't my fault!" Locke shouted.
Oralee broke a bottle on the counter, and waved it in Locke's face.
"Oralee, you're drunk!" he said, backing away.

Rebecca and Madoc walked out of the McDonalds.
"Can I walk you home?" asked Madoc.
"It's not far..." said Rebecca, looking shyly away.
"Well how about you walk me home?"
She looked up. "What do you mean, Madoc?"
"Locke isn't leaving Mexico for a few days. I've got plenty of time on my hands."
He made a B3 face.

Back at the hotel, the bar was in a full-on barfight, with every man, woman and child in the bar clutching a makeshift weapon, punching people in the face, and upturning tables.
Haderty, who was on vacation, looked on.
"This would never happen in my tavern..." he said with disgust.
"...This would never happen in my tavern!"
He picked up a chair and bashed someone over the head with it.
In the chaos, Locke slipped out the back door. Oralee had tracked him down. He had to leave Mexico.
But she'd follow him again... Unless... he stopped her for good.
There was only one person who could help him now. Locke gulped. Then he picked up his mobile and dialed the number.

"Madoc, that was amazing!" said Rebecca. "I never knew you could cook!"
"What can I say?" Madoc replied. "Spaghetti is my secret talent. Now, to get -"
"Rocket Man" filled the air, interrupting Madoc's sentence.
"My phone; let me just get this."
He answered the call.
"Madoc! I know you want to kill me and all, but I need your help!"
He held the phone away and looked at it in puzzlement. Madoc knew it would be easy, but didn't expect his prey to come to him.
"I can't exactly help you," he replied. "I kind of have to kill you."
"I can pay. I will pay way more than what you'll get paid if you kill me, and then once it's done you can get back to killing me."
An enticing offer. It wouldn't interrupt him too much, and he'd be able to keep tabs on his target.
"Right. What do you want me to do?"

Locke glanced around the shopping centre anxiously. He was waiting.
Madoc appeared from nowhere.
"I'm ready."
"Did you bring the clothes?"
"Yeah, I did," he replied, holding up the garbage bag, "but I don't see how-"
Locke's mobile phone came out of nowhere, and went for Madoc's neck. The inbuilt taser took Madoc down.
"Sorry, but the plan's changed a bit. I knew you wouldn't consent..."

Oralee darted between the shopping carts, searching for Locke. Then, she saw something that made her stop.
It was someone dressed up exactly like her. She walked forwards, toward the girl.
...It wasn't a girl. She stared in puzzlement. Who would dress up exactly like her?
Then the shopping cart landed upside down over her, and she was trapped.
"Got ya." said Locke. "Finalmente, la ardilla se ha ido abajo!"
"Hay un pequeño error, Locke..."
"Eh?" Locke looked up. "What's the problem?"
"...Never mind."
Locke gazed at Oralee. "After two years pursuing me, it seems I have caught YOU. And now, you can't follow me any more..."
Now it was Madoc's turn to come out of nowhere. He ditched his Oralee costume and lunged for Locke, who blocked him and kicked him in the chest.
"Huh, you're a bit rusty, Madoc." he said.
"That's fine," Madoc replied, sneering. "I'm only a distraction."
Rebecca jumped off of the top of the shelves, landing on Locke's head. She held on tight, covering his eyes.
"Aaaah!" he shouted, running around in circles.
"I did it!" screamed Rebecca.

When Locke woke up, he found himself in a cage, with Oralee.
"Oralee. Oralee, wake up."
She complied. "Where... where are we?"
"I'm not sure, but I think we're in Madoc's basement." he said. "At least, judging by the... yeah..."
"We have no choice." said Oralee. "We must work together to free ourselves."
"I agree." said Locke. "But how are we going to get out of this cage?"
"That's easy!" said Oralee. She shot lasers out of her eyes and melted the cage bars.
"Wow, I never knew you could do that!" shouted Locke in amazement.
"Locke, I need to tell you something... I'm a robot from the future, come back to save you from Madoc."
Locke stood up, and paced to the corner of the room, before turning around.
"I... I'd always suspected." he stuttered.
"It's vital that Madoc doesn't kill you." shouted Oralee. "If he manages to subdue you, the future is in great peril!"
Locke clenched his fist in determination. "In that case... we must run."
They climbed out of the trapdoor leading to the basement, and met up with some Mexicans who agreed to help them escape Mexico if they would carry some items across the border for them.
As they dashed into the United States of America, Locke turned to Oralee.
"We're free, Oralee. Free to live our lives however we please. Free to prosper, or die trying. Free... to live out the great American dream."