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So, I'm not dead.

I'm really, really sorry for my absence. I'm going to try to explain... D: I hope I don't come across as dramatic or crying for attention, because that's honestly not what I'm trying to do.

For about a year or two, an increasing amount of stress (for multiple reasons) has been building up in my life. I've tried my best to push through it, make the best of things, and hope that I'll feel better in the future, but lately it's been overwhelming.

This past month was, uh.. pretty much terrible. Anxiety and self-doubt weighed me down so much that I hadn't even attempted to draw a single thing until this week (which are the sketches you see above).

I've never been the most confident person, so sinking even deeper into insecurity is not a good thing for me. Through the last month, even thinking about art led to negative feelings: that I wasn't doing enough, that I would never amount to anything, that no one would miss my art anyway, that I was just a terrible person with terrible artwork and shouldn't even bother trying. (And then stack on top of that the guilt of not having updated Wake the Sleepers.) All of these horrible, unstoppable feelings would rapidly build up until I was a wreck, and my boyfriend would be so confused and sad and try his best to help but didn't know how (bless his poor heart).

Wow, I sound unstable.

This week has been the best in a while, so maybe things are starting to look up? Maybe? That would be great.

Anyway! I'm not sure exactly what's wrong with me, but I promise that I'm not giving up. This comic—and all of you—mean too much for me to let it go, and it would be the biggest mistake for me to stop. I love you guys. C:

So, where does this leave WtS? I can't guarantee that I'll have a page every week, but I will certainly try my hardest. After a month of not drawing, I'm trying to build the habit of sketching every day again, no matter how I'm feeling. I've been watching some great drawing tutorials/livestreams and trying to sketch more to boost my confidence, so hopefully I'll be back in the swing of things soon.

Thanks so much for being patient! If I could words, I would word all the nicest things about each and every one of you. Keep being fantastic~!

tl;dr
Emotional problems. Updates are still coming, just slower until things get better!

6th Jun 2013, 11:47 PM





Something I've noticed is that the best artists are always the most insecure ones. People won't miss your artwork? Your artwork is terrible? Oh my gosh have you READ your comment section!? You've made tutorials that people use as REFERENCES! You have one of the most popular comics on ComicFury!! You feeling insecure is honestly kind of mindboggling, but again, every great artist I know (every single one of them) is insecure. But maybe that's a good thing, because at least you won't be waving your amazing over people's heads while they cry...? ^^;

Anyways, point is, you're putting yourself down a little too much. I don't know about everything else that's been going on in your life lately, but I just want to reassure you that your artwork is wonderful and amazing and awe-inspiring. I hope everything else works out for you, and you feel better soon.

7th Jun 2013, 12:27 AM

Take all the time you need, and we simply LOVE your art, so there's no discussion about that :)

I can relate to the boyfriend-part: I've been a boyfriend like that myself.
And all I can say to him is "Just hug the bejeezers out of her and say truthful encouraging things."
And to you:"When he does that, accept it as truth. Which may be hard at first, but hear it enough and you'll start believing."

Also, I read an update on Facebook of Magravan about TED LifeHack talks.
An interesting part: If you take up a super-hero pose where you take up a lot of space in a room (for example the Wonder Woman pose: chin up, chest inflated, fists on your hips, legs spread(that sounds naughty))
If you hold that pose for 2 minutes it boosts testosterone and lowers cortisone levels: you'll automatically feel more confident.
Granted: they say to do this before stressful events like job interviews, but I don't see why a daily superhero pose wouldn't work a bit in your situation.

7th Jun 2013, 3:07 AM

Just for the record, your art is superb. Not only pleasant to the eye, but also very clear, dynamic, and expressive. Most of all, you strike a wonderful balance between lots-of-detail and too-busy-to-understand-what's-happening.

I'm not an artist myself (well, I'm a writer, but that's not the same thing), but I read about 50 webcomics on a regular basis. As such, I'd like to think my opinion is an informed one, which is why I share it with you.

In short, don't worry about being perfect. That's impossible. Instead, just give us your honest best. Trust me when I say that your best is pretty damn good!

*big hug* Take all the time you need! :)

7th Jun 2013, 5:27 AM

What are you, my clone? D:

Meh, I think I know these thoughts... As for my personal experience it's good to live through it when you need to but to remind yourself that it's not the truth. I personally am glad you're not seriously injured or something like that, and hope you'll feel better soon ^w^

But you see your art looks great. Besides, that "that no one would miss my art anyway, that I was just a terrible person with terrible artwork and shouldn't even bother trying" is MY line! As for me it's a bit tricky that I get too depressed to draw and then get depressed over NOT DRAWING.. >.<
Buuut that's getting a bit offtopic now ^^;;

So, long story short: Take your time. It's absolutely okay!

PS: Those sketches look awesome! ;w; These poses and these details and all of it!

7th Jun 2013, 5:36 AM

I don't comment often (I think this is the second time actually) but I just wanted to drop in and give some support;
<i>You are awesome and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!</i>
(Did I get the italic right?)

So yeah, keep making comics. :)

7th Jun 2013, 5:36 AM

I was getting kinda worried when we hadn't seen a wts update for like a month, (now I know how people felt about RR D: sorry) and you know why? BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR COMIC AND YOUR ART ARE AWESOME!

I think everyone goes through phases like that. I know its a pretty regular thing for me. But that's mostly because I don't have the same skill as you. You are a brilliant artist, Kristy. And you have a style that is all your own. Your stuff is part of what made me improve from stick figures in IceCream Soup to trying a completely different style for Reanimated Response. And a bunch of other sketches and stuff that no one but me has ever seen, but they're pretty good! All because I had people like you to aspire to be like. So chin up! You got nothing to be ashamed of or insecure about. Really, your art is the kind people look at and feel insecure about themselves.

So take whatever time you need to get out of your funk, and we'll all be eagerly waiting for the continuation of a magnificent comic. YOUR magnificent comic that 486 freaking people wait for every week :D

(Man I remember when LKS was at the top and had like 150 or so subscribers, then I left for a while and when I came back I see you at the top with almost FIVE HUNDRED. Jaw dropping, but not really that surprising.)

7th Jun 2013, 8:03 AM

I think we all go through modes like that; you're not alone. But know for sure that your artwork and comic is AMAZING! It's worth the wait, and we'll all be waiting patiently for what is, no doubt, one of the best webcomics out there. :)

7th Jun 2013, 8:38 AM

Aww, I hope things will look up for you! It's hard times like this that makes us appreciate the good things in life!

Your art is great and I'm glad to hear you're not giving up any time soon <3
Feel better!

7th Jun 2013, 10:23 AM

We'll all be here waiting for you when you're ready for us.

7th Jun 2013, 10:27 AM

Yay
Your comic is nice. I have it in my list of comics that i check for updates daily.
I was very happy to see that something new was posted and hope for more in the near future. If you would stop to draw, i would always wonder how your comic will go on.

I wish you good luck and a lot of helping hands with your problems. I know that your own demons are the hardest to fight.

7th Jun 2013, 12:01 PM

kristy guess what NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF YOU ARE AN AMAZING ARTIST so dont let yourself down and THINK POSITIVE thats the spirit!!!!!!!!

7th Jun 2013, 2:00 PM

Such courage to open up like this, take a breath and the time you need.

We're here for you if ever you wish to talk with a peer.

And always keep in mind, you don't suck!

7th Jun 2013, 4:46 PM

I will be waiting :) i dont comment much but i always look forward to your comics and the artwork is amazing, helps tell the story the way it should and looks awesome what more could anyone ask for keep it up :)

7th Jun 2013, 5:41 PM

Good to see you back on your feet again, and I'm sorry your programming has been glitchy lately. There are some hacks that swap out the anxiety for a massive ego, but I haven't heard very good things about most of them...

7th Jun 2013, 8:00 PM

I understand the building up of stress, and hope you handle it better than I can. But I don't think I really need to sound like a broken record--

You are legitimately one of the best artists I've ever known. You are, in fact, one of my main artistic inspirations. I DREAM of making the art for my comic as good as the art for yours.

You are my example on how to do everything right. You might not think so, but I do; you're basically my #1 comic idol. You've build a fantasy world and executed the storytelling beautifully, having crafted a gorgeous setting I wish to follow along with.

It might sound a bit too good to be true, but it's basically hero worship--I am that impressed with what you have done. And I can definitely see you making something of it.

If I had money, I would buy your comic. If I had money, I'd buy every single piece of merchandise you have to offer. And I think many people here share those same feelings--you CAN succeed.

But that said...it's your life, and you can do what you want to do in it. Don't think for so much as a second that you should be held to some higher standard.

The only thing we as your audience realistically expect is for you to live your life. Making art is a bonus for it, and as you can tell by my comment, we greatly appreciate you showing us it. But don't feel obligated to do it.

We love it, but I know that I, personally, would never want to burden you. You should be doing it because you want to, not because we want you to.

But we wouldn't be here commenting if we didn't care. Didn't care about the world, but more importantly, didn't care about you.

In short, Kristy...you are awesome, and don't for a minute think you're not. Doubt to a certain extent can be healthy as it encourages artistic growth, but extreme doubt will only drag you down.

You're much, MUCH better than you give yourself credit for.

I wish I had more words, but what I have to say is largely redundant with what others have already said. You are an incredibly gifted person, and I wish you well in life.

7th Jun 2013, 9:20 PM

Your artwork is amazing.. colors, line, everything. It would be a HUGE tragedy if you were to let your insecurities triumph but of course your health comes first. I've got anxiety issues of my own and understand how crippling it can be. Just know you've got our support whenever you need it! We have no problem reminding you how awesome you are! (And hooray for supportive boyfriends! My husband has mopped up many a puddle of tears over the years. :D )

7th Jun 2013, 11:38 PM

I'm just glad to hear your ok. :)

I'm no artist, but I have a good friend who is one and get's in to the same type of moods. I never know quite what to tell her. I meen, I think the world of her art but I just don't know how to get her to see how much she's valued... So I guess I can relate to your poor BF XD. But ya; just look at all of the support from everyone. Your art is amazing and your story is just as good! Really, your comic (along with Seed and recently Serpamia Flare) is the only resion I even look at ComicFury now that my original freind's comic has stopped. I'll say it again: Your art is wonderful, your story is captivating, and your dialog is always freindly and entertaining. It world be tragic to see the story stop now. I don't know how to get that across.

8th Jun 2013, 12:26 AM

Hey, no worries. I know all about unwanted insecurities and delays. I have been kind of homeless for a year, just ask the folks who follow my comic, it takes it's toll. But in the end you dust yourself off and keep going, all the wiser for the experience.

8th Jun 2013, 1:27 AM

Kristy...

I've been thinking for a couple days about just how to respond, checking in often, reading everyone's comments. To start with, you should take that as a compliment.

You do know, somewhere in your heart, that your insecurities are pure BS, and that you shouldn't listen to them. I know that's not easy; I just hope hearing it from so many people helps!

Thank you for having the courage to tell us what you're facing. I think that's a positive step toward getting better.

But most of all -- note that people DID miss your art -- and missed you. I've checked every day since your first missed update. I was wanting to see the story continue, but more than that, I worried that something bad happened to you.

I'm just glad it was something you can recover from!

I greatly enjoy your art. You have a real gift for bringing out character in your characters, and it serves your story very well.

I enjoy your story-telling, even more, and I really want to see where it goes.

But most of all, I enjoy your comments and interactions with your numerous fans -- where you show a little of your own character. Kristy the artist; Kristy the person. Kristy the creator of an amazing story.

Please, do what you need to do, to be healthy, to be happy.

But never doubt for a moment that your fans don't love your art -- and you!

8th Jun 2013, 3:39 PM

I don't know what your aspirations are, and how far along you are in pursuing them... but you are clearly, unquestionably talented.

8th Jun 2013, 5:18 PM

We understand :) Take your time sweet

8th Jun 2013, 6:03 PM

JR
I am not an artist nor am I a writer - but - I Know Quality When I See It. You are a Story Teller. You are doing it with both art and words of the highest order. Most artists can do one or the other, but very rarely can one do both. You've got it! All your fans already know this about you. Believe It! Know It! Live It!

Thank You for all that you've done.

I am looking forward to the continuing of your tale whenever you are ready.

John

8th Jun 2013, 8:27 PM

Oh my goodness. NO! We LOVE you! Take your time, you are a wonderful person, so please think of yourself better.

Please don't feel bad that we are trying to comfort you. It just means we care. Your artwork is awesome and I like how it has changed over time.

Take ALL the time you need. We don't want to be a burden.

8th Jun 2013, 10:37 PM

JJ
Well this comic is way cool!

9th Jun 2013, 11:45 PM

Ted
I would miss your artwork and comic if you stopped. I really want to see where this story goes too. If you have to make art a hobby before it becomes a career do what you need to do. Also I've always thought it silly that artists are sorry that they couldn't update a FREE comic. If you don't have the time don't worry about just let us know.

10th Jun 2013, 4:30 PM

Oh man!! I am so sorry, girl!! I'm not saying that I understand exactly everything that's going on with you, but I've also been going through some tough and stressful things in my life. So, hang in there!! We love you (and your story, character, and all your stuff)!! I'll be praying for you. *hug* And, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON THIS COMIC!!!! IT'S THE BEST!!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!! <3

10th Jun 2013, 4:48 PM

I meant to say *characters*, not 'character'. :P Sorry about that!! XD

10th Jun 2013, 4:50 PM

This is your webcomic, that you are posting for free. Which in turn means, that you most probably don't make any money from it. So if there are extended breaks or even a hiatus, then that's completely alright and no one in their right mind would complain.
For the art I have to chime in with the other comments: It's superb. And please keep it that way.
I'd be more disappointed by rushed-out pages than by a hiatus.

11th Jun 2013, 10:29 AM

not that it'll be noticed particularly in that highly eloquent outpouring of only proper consideration for our wonderous bringer of joy (that's you Kristy),
But remember that through it all there are a lot of us who Do care about you as a person and not just comic writer. Even if we don't much have a way to show it usually

12th Jun 2013, 5:51 PM

Oh sweetie. :(

This is Vas from the Webcomic Underdogs. It's my first time commenting here and yet, I want to give you a big fat hug. I am so sorry that you are going through this emotional upheaval. I have moments like that too, and they are no fun.

You are is really good, so don't be so harsh on yourself. Take it gently and be kind to yourself.

16th Jun 2013, 12:05 PM

I missed your art Kristy!! I'm praying for you!

27th Jun 2013, 9:17 PM

There are times when I, as well, get down and am unable to work on artwork. I feel empty and hollow inside and simply can't function correctly. I usually have to wait it out or muscle my way through it, but it does eventually pass. Know that there are many others like you and focus on what you need to do for yourself first.

29th Jun 2013, 1:01 AM

Y'know, in my travels, I've discovered something about us comic artists; We are all insecure in some way, big or small. We'll all second guess ourselves from time to time, slowing our work. Hell, I've not even started mine from when I founded it last fall. Now it's become lost in the horde of abandoned webcomics.

What I've also noticed, which is my point, is that us artists are so incredibly stubborn about our own art style that it is almost impossible to force new art into our heads. Occasionally, we will learn something without even knowing. I, for example, have started drawing my front view noses just like you.

I think that's a sign that what you're doing is awesome, because it passively stuck in my mind.

2nd Jul 2013, 12:23 PM

Not to mention the fact that there's always someone out there who hates your work.

You can't satisfy ALL readers, you just can't. But it's how much you let the negativity weigh you down vs the positivity to lift you up.
That's something only you, as the artist, can decide.
If 1 bad comment weighs heavier than 10 good comments, then it's gonna be hard.

Because people have this utterly annoying and sometimes arrogant trade: they feel the need to voice their displeasure to make you do things for them to like it.
Even though you're providing it for free to them... they don't care: they think they have the right to say that your work doesn't entertain them enough, and you should work harder.

Those people need to be dialed out of focus for the artist, otherwise you'll go through Hell.

tl;dr Don't let the bad comments get to you, you're an awesome artist, and we love your work, and you for that work.

6th Jul 2013, 11:55 AM

ccm
Great artist! you should be PROUD!!
You sound like my wife and I. I had a major depression from anxiety and she had just the anxiety.
The feeling of not getting everything done and trying hard to please everyone.
Stop dueing what others expect or what you think they expect.
Do what you like at the pace you feel comfortable dueing.
Love and take care of you first and the rest will follow.
Please talk to your DR. they can help you. Our's did!!

27th Sep 2013, 6:50 PM

I hadn't really been intending to comment (nobody much wants my opinion on anything)... but you can't be held accountable for teh depressions.

It is just bad brain-chemistry. There need be no reason nor basis for the doubts and insecurities... they just come with the package. Sometimes they ain't so bad, and sometimes they're crippling.

I know it well enough. I've lost two webcomics to it myself.
The first I made for a community that eventually tore itself apart with in-fighting and strife, and I couldn't bring myself to continue it aimlessly.
The second I had no choice but to give up after the artist bailed on me... and I'd only got the help of a second person in the first place because I knew I couldn't handle it myself without sinking into despair.

In the end... more power to you if you can pick yourself back up and return to it...

12th Nov 2013, 7:52 AM

I've never read online comics before yours. I looked up "women's online comics" found yours from hundreds of others and have stuck with it. That's gotta say something! Just please stick with it...for MY sake. I gotta know what happens. ;)

1st Feb 2014, 11:29 AM

I realize this was some time ago already but I had taken a break from reading and decided to catch up today. I find all the best artist/creative people have great insecurities about their work and will almost always feel that way. My belief is that these insecurities are what makes you great at what you do. The reason being is that you're always looking at ways to improve your work and challenge yourself to new heights. The result is excellent work that will only continue to get better. I have always thought you were a great artist from the time you first started posting these pages and continue to admire your work.

10th Feb 2016, 12:56 AM